My first thought of the day......"What the heck.....?". I look around and for a second or two everything's a blur. It's a moment in time, but suddenly everything comes clearly into focus. This is my life. I'm here and everything before has led to this moment.
I'm standing beside this man completely aware of him. He's a constant for me. He's my husband. The love of my life. In that, I have no doubt. There's no second thoughts. He is it. I say that because, it's true. It will always be true. And yet, I have doubts every single day. I'm fractured and broken.
He deserves better. I'm not good enough. I never will be and yet, he's still here. The little doubts of a life time creep in and the questions begin. Why is he still here? When will he realize all I'm not? Am I enough? I can easily work myself into a frenzy. In fact, I have at times. I have my ups and downs.
Yes, I am broken, honest to a fault and self effacing. I tend to play down my good traits. Yes, there are a few......<smile>
I'm calling this out, because no matter how faulty I am, I am a smart woman. I am strong. I am enduring and durable. I have a big heart and care for others. I love with all my heart. It breaks at times, but it mends and makes me stronger. I laugh often and can be quite funny in my own quirky ways. I cry too, but not always because I'm sad or mad. I can take knocks and I can give them. I have patience and can out wait the best of 'em. I can provide for my family, for me and others. I have charity and give, sometimes too much. I can sing....offkey, but will belt it out and feel giddy for it. I can dance and do and I don't care that it's more a jitter than rhythm. It fills me up and elates me. I can hope, imagine the impossible and it sustains me.
Yes, I have my doubts. They come and go. They make me stronger and remind me where I am, where I've been and where I want to go.
XOXOXO
I'm standing beside this man completely aware of him. He's a constant for me. He's my husband. The love of my life. In that, I have no doubt. There's no second thoughts. He is it. I say that because, it's true. It will always be true. And yet, I have doubts every single day. I'm fractured and broken.
He deserves better. I'm not good enough. I never will be and yet, he's still here. The little doubts of a life time creep in and the questions begin. Why is he still here? When will he realize all I'm not? Am I enough? I can easily work myself into a frenzy. In fact, I have at times. I have my ups and downs.
Yes, I am broken, honest to a fault and self effacing. I tend to play down my good traits. Yes, there are a few......<smile>
I'm calling this out, because no matter how faulty I am, I am a smart woman. I am strong. I am enduring and durable. I have a big heart and care for others. I love with all my heart. It breaks at times, but it mends and makes me stronger. I laugh often and can be quite funny in my own quirky ways. I cry too, but not always because I'm sad or mad. I can take knocks and I can give them. I have patience and can out wait the best of 'em. I can provide for my family, for me and others. I have charity and give, sometimes too much. I can sing....offkey, but will belt it out and feel giddy for it. I can dance and do and I don't care that it's more a jitter than rhythm. It fills me up and elates me. I can hope, imagine the impossible and it sustains me.
Yes, I have my doubts. They come and go. They make me stronger and remind me where I am, where I've been and where I want to go.
XOXOXO
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